They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and after four months without you, I believe it. Glad you’re back in my life. I missed you so much more than I expected.

Dear God please don’t ever let me go,
Ashley

¡Hola! Just writing to let you know we’ve temporarily kidnapped Ashley and taken her on as a hostage. In a voluntary, mutual-consent kind of way, of course. She asked us to tell you she’s having a great time, and that you can keep tabs on her more-than-willing captividad at The 195.

Fear not, queridos. We’ll take good care of her and return her home to you, at some point. Probably when she gets tired of our mullets and man-capris.

Besos y abrazos,
Rafael Nadal y Javier Bardem

Oh, boy. I will miss you.

Please don’t ever change,
Ashley

It is with deep regret that I must inform you that you did not qualify for the “Things I Will Miss About America” list. But it is with only the fondest feelings I can muster that I wish you would jump off a bridge the best of luck next time.

Don’t bother keeping in touch,
Ashley

Thank you for making my small, quiet summer life in Minnesota feel a little more outrageous.

Dizzily (from raging by myself in glitter and body paint),
A$hley

Your ass looks a lot better on TV than in real life. But then again, it’s refreshing to know that in real life, your ass actually looks kind of like everyone else’s.

Satisfied-ly,
Ashley

Oh, love. I know I haven’t paid you enough attention recently, and I regret it from the deepest depths of my sorry, sorry  heart. But I promise, if you can find it in you to forgive me and take me back, I promise I’ll never leave you hanging out to dry like this again.

I know you think I strayed away from you. And in all honesty, for a brief stint there, I did. I was seduced by the comforts of home and the persuasive pleas of my family to come back to Minnesota. But here I am, sitting here at my desk in my Rochester, Minn., office, unable to focus because it’s you that’s on my mind. After the whirlwind weekend we just had together — the way you looked, the feelings I felt, the adventures we had — I’ve realized something: There’s just no comparison. And I’m ready to commit to you.

I’ve made up my mind, and I want you to be a permanent part of my life, not just a temporary one. …If you’ll have me, that is. But let it be known – once I’ve put this Barcelona ordeal to bed, it’s just you and me, baby. All the time.

Yours,
Ashley

I thought it was sort of weird at first when you kept glancing over at my Canon camera bag and then smiled and murmured a hello. I wasn’t really sure what to do or why you felt the need to talk to me, and it wasn’t until I got up off the train that I noticed your bag had a tripod sticking out of it. Rain check on what I’m sure would have been a really interesting and worthwhile conversation?

Regretfully,
Ashley

I know it seems like the odds are stacked against us, my love. The universe, it seems, is simply out to destroy the beautiful music we make together. But I still choose to believe that somewhere out there, there’s a safe, happy place — far away from empty hot beverage dispensers and other people who steal all the Swiss Miss and Intercampus Shuttle doors that close at inopportune times and knock you out of my hands onto the sidewalk in front of Tech — where we can escape and fully enjoy each other’s company. Somewhere, there’s a place for us.

Yours,
Ashley

Thanks, and happy MLK Day to you too.

Bewilderedly,
Ashley